If your social media newsfeed is anything like mine today, chances are you’ve been bombarded with back-to-school pictures and LOADS of chatter, gifs, video clips & memes involving Miley  Cyrus’ performance on the Video Music Awards last night.  I haven’t watched the VMAs in years for fear of being reminded exactly how old I am as I’m sure I’d wind up having to consult Wikipedia every two minutes to figure out who is who and to translate all the hip slang.  My ITunes is stuck in the 80s and 90s and I’m sure we’re just a hop, skip and a jump away from having all radio stations playing my kind of music reclassify themselves as the “oldies” and “classic” stations.  Yikes.  I never thought this day would come.  But enough about me and my sad and slow metamorphosis into the realm of the grumpy old fogey.

Curiosity got the better of me (as it always does) and, of course, I absolutely HAD to see what everyone was talking about.  And wow.  I think I need to bleach my eyes and have a long chat with all 3 of our girls in the hopes I can prevent them from someday twerking against oversized teddy bears, bending over for an extended dry humping session with a man 16 years their senior and using a foam finger as a sex toy.

As a parent, I’m not surprised by all the negative smack talk about the performance.  I totally get it and I’m right there with you if you’re feeling appalled and worried over the future of our daughters.  As a fitness professional and someone who’s struggled with body image for a while, I was troubled by several posts that made fun of or criticized Miley’s butt- one declaring that this should be National Squat Day to prevent such ass-trocities.

So Miley has a flatter butt?  I’m sure that tight latex wasn’t doing her any favors.  But there’s no guarantee that she could have been saved by squats.  We’re all built differently.  For all we know, Miley could be doing 300 squats a day with a loaded barbell.  Leave Miley’s ass alone.

Now that tongue on the other hand…I’d prefer if she stopped sticking it out like Gene Simmons.  That’s just plain gross.

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